Swiping left and right on Tinder might sound fun until you are left staring at your list of matches by your empty inbox. Although you don’t physically have to go over to any person to strike up a conversation, sending that first text can be just as intimidating. Luckily, if you can get that first message right, your conversation is likely to follow on by itself.
Review your match’s profile
Before jumping into the conversation, you should make use of all your available tools. If a few pictures and lines of text convinced you to swipe right in the first place, then they are also likely to offer you some insight on what might catch your match’s attention.
Although their profile might look like any other piece of code to Tinder’s algorithm, it is important to keep in mind that there is a unique person with specific interests and hobbies behind every bio. After all, there is a reason that your two profiles matched, so why not use it to your advantage?
Forget the “Hey”, “Hi” and “Hello”
You’ve got your great matches – the best way to lose them is with a “Hey”. A “Hey” will bury your message in the depth of their inbox, never to be seen again. Whilst this might work in a coffee shop, Tinder is all about standing out and making a memorable first impression.
Seek out those emotions
The search for an emotional connection is what gets people on Tinder in the first place, so why not serve your matches exactly what they came looking for?
This does not mean getting deep and serious, it is simply about sending a first message which will resonate with them. If you can surprise them or just simply get a smile on their face, your conversation will be off to a great start. If your meal smells bland before having even tasted it, chances are that you won’t be having any second bites. A thoughtful compliment or playful joke can set the tone for the rest of the conversation.
Whether you are looking for a short-term fling or a potential spouse, you will be spending lots of time with the other person. Instead of succumbing to some cheesy opener, staying true to your personality and sense of humour will immediately make you stand out.
If you notice that you have a shared passion for something, it’s never too early to bring it up. This will put your match into confidence and provide a natural momentum to the conversation. You don’t have to have attended the same primary school, something as simple as a love of coffee can sometimes make all the difference.
Compliments are your n°1 safety plan
If you nothing else springs to your mind other than “Hey” or some inappropriate jokes, then a compliment is always a faultless way to go. Starting a conversation by making your match feel appreciated is likely to be something they will want to come back to.
Get to the point
There is no need to start sending out personalized haikus to every one of your matches. Sometimes the most casual and straightforward openings are the best way of making the other person feel at ease. After all, you will never be able to summarise your entire personality in a few opening lines so taking a more natural route will give you plenty of time to share your crazy life stories later on.
Don’t copy and paste
No one likes to receive a message that has been copied and pasted endless times. No matter how catchy your opening line might be, if it hasn’t been working until now, it is unlikely to ever start. However, this doesn’t mean that you should simply start sticking their name at the start of your message. Instead, referencing something that is personal to the profile of your match will translate much better than a pixilated GIF.
To question or not to question?
A popular conversation starter on Tinder is asking a question. This is a great opportunity to eliciting their curiosity and get them thinking about a topic of interest. Instead of sending a passive text, a question quite literally insists on them answering you. Not only will this prompt them to reply, but you will also learn something new about them in the process.
Keep your tone in check
A bold statement is always a great way of letting your confidence speak for itself. Still, it is just important to remember that, no matter what your intentions are for using Tinder, every exchange should be about respect. Audacity does not impress everyone in the same way, so depending on your match it might be a good idea to tone it down accordingly. Once you get your conversation going, you will be able to say what you want soon enough without making them feel uncomfortable.
Although this is easier said than done, this is ultimately the best strategy to catch a person’s attention and get your conversation going. Every person is different, so tailoring your message to fit the profile is essential. This is your opportunity to explore various options that will match different aspects of your own personality. Your joke might not make everyone laugh the same way, just as your question might not intrigue them as much. If your conversation doesn’t start the way you expected it to, it is sometimes the best sign to move on to someone who can match your reply with the same energy.
Check your spelling
Everyone has auto-correct on their phones nowadays so there really is no excuse for bad spelling. Awful grammar will just make you come across as careless and indifferent, which is never a great way of starting a conversation.
Just go for it
At the end of the day, it is just a text. If you want to keep the conversation thriving, the best way to initiate it is the way that feels best to you. Think of a line, write it up and send it. Once you have shown your interest, there is no need to flood the person with texts as you wait for their reply. Let them take the time they need, pressuring them will only decrease your chances of ever getting the conversation to ever pick up in the first place.